Frustration again

Frustration. I'm irked, though mildly this time round by Matthew again. I was mildly irritated, now I recall the pattern. He'd ask me to do something for him, and then turn around and accuse me of this and that. Like that time he asked me to find out about O's sterilization. So when I have done that, I mentioned it in the Car when PO's around, and they both disagreed, and told me not to do it. I don't understand, He told me to do it, I do it, and now I'm the one who wanted to do it?

Then Yesterday, while doing Christmas Shopping. I told him he should check the photo frames. He told me to check, and I found a bad scratch on it. I was angered that the shop will sell defective products (and mind you, they were $20-30 each), and that they were unapologetic. They pretty much just let me do the check =ing there by myself. And Matthew comes, and says it alright, that I'm going overboard.

Hello? Who am I doing this for anyway? You can't just turn around and tell me it's alright, when you told me to check, and you didn't take a closer look yourself. You have disregarded my opinion, and you should not have bothered me to look for imperfections in the first place.

What I hate about it is, it seem that he had totaly forgotten, that he was the one who asked me to check them.

I'm not going to help him anymore. Not only does he not appreciate it, he'll turn around and accuse you of being fussy.

Being attached to T is no fun. He goes around telling people we're attached, and I don't even believe he can see me for who I am. All these love-dovey words, they are all empty, recitations from his fantasy. I believe he's subconsciously creating opportunities at conflict by being late for every appointment. Let
s get this straight, being late once in a while is ok, but being late ALL the time, though a small thing, is a BIG issue. It's the basic respect for somebody else's time. And if you decide to stay home because of the rain, don't turn around and say you miss me. It's your own doing.

If you decide to meet someone else instead, that's fine. But don't say that you miss me. It sounds like you're always complaining that we're not spending enough time together, and that's because to your decision to do something else besides meeting up.

That day at BL, could have been the last straw, perhaps for the week or 2, or perhaps for the relationship. I don't see why you think it's funny that you decided at stay home and wait for me to arrive at the venue, before telling me you'd prefer to meet at the second venue, and wait for me there. I half expected to get lost, and so I said that if I didn't find it, we'd meet another day. That was a half-ultimatum from me already. Another day, could be another year later. I don't like to feel agitated everytime before we meet. This relationship is bringing me more frustration than sweet happiness, and I don't need that.

As expected, I went to the wrong place.

And you're still messaging me "dear, hugs, I love you... " you you even see yourself? You can't see me, you only see what you think you see in an imaginary relationship that you're creating. You only see yourself getting hurt by someone older and more powerful, and you want to be the victim. You want to have that sweet romance, and you want to experience that bitterness of being given the cold treatment, and the realisation that the other party does not care about you. I feel that you're forcing me to do all this. That's why I'm saying, you don't see me.

You don't see me, you don't see me, you don't see me.